Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Rude car

On the way to work in a 30 mile an hour limit I was “flashed” by a car going in the opposite direction.

A few things ran through my mind:

Am I speeding?  No I wasn’t.

Is there a police speed trap just around the corner?  If so, I don’t care because I’m not speeding.

Have I got my fog lights on?  No.

Have I got my headlights on full beam?  No, lights are off.

Have I got a flat tyre?  No, car seems to be handling fine.

Was I driving like a maniac and annoying other road users?  On this occasion, no.

Have I remembered to get dressed before leaving the house?

I admit that forgetting this last one is an unlikely scenario but I feel I’d explored all other possible explanations for the flash.

Then I realised what had happened.  My little squeeze Fiesta had just had a friendly hello from another squeeze Fiesta.  How cute, and my car hadn’t responded, how rude.

Monday, 23 March 2009

A lesson in getting it wrong

HR wrote to me with a letter dated for last September and addressed it to Christy.

I received the letter in February and my name’s not Christy.

I’ve just received my numbers for the latest round of redundancies.  This is the financial payoff I’ll receive if I leave the company after almost 18 years of service.

I would consider this document to be important and I would expect it to be accurate.

How stupid of me.

They have a start date for me that is almost, but not quite, two years wrong.

Not only is that exceptionally irritating and yet typical of HR efficiency, it also under calls the amount to which I would be entitled.

You know what.  If they can’t be bothered to put the time and effort into communicating the redundancy package then I can’t be bothered to accept their inaccurate offer.

Saturday, 21 March 2009

Bad wife

I woke before anyone else in the house today.

I made my way downstairs and made two mugs of tea.  Taking the tea upstairs, I popped one on Dave’s bedside table and one on my bedside table.

The next thing I know Hannah gets into the bed and Ethan comes into the bedroom too.

A little while later I said to Dave “Don’t let your tea go cold” and Dave replied “I didn’t know I had a cup of tea.”

I said “You see, I am a good wife really” and Dave asked Hannah whether she thought I was a good wife and she said “No.”

Dave asked her why, and she said “Well she only told you about the tea when it was cold.”

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

My new job

I’m really really excited and a little bit nervous.

Actually I might be a bit more nervous than excited.

I have a new job.  Apparently everyone is talking about it.  I’m pretty sure the people talking about it fall into two camps; there are those that work with me currently who are celebrating, and those that think they might be working with me in the future who are probably drinking themselves into a stupor to numb the pain of the news.

My nerves might surprise you; let me explain.

I don’t know what this new job is.  I didn’t know until this evening that I was moving jobs.  I haven’t even had an interview, although this isn’t always an indicator.

I know some people want me to move out of my current job.  I also know that there are some people that would like me to work in their department.

That’s all I know.  I haven’t had any conversations with anyone that go beyond this and I can’t remember exactly when a job move might have been mentioned casually in passing, apart from tonight.

Tonight I was told that it’s a fact - I’m moving jobs.  This fact has come from the rumour mill and is therefore true.

I’m always the last to know.  But I am excited.  Change is always exciting.

Monday, 16 March 2009


I have only ever submitted one insurance claim.  Admittedly it was a weird one.

It was a hot day and I had a newborn baby.  I needed to travel in the car but, being an over-protective new mother, the car needed to cool down before I placed my precious baby cargo in the back seat.

I reached into the car and popped the keys in the ignition and turned the car on.  My plan was to pop the aircon on for a few minutes.

What I hadn’t realised was that my husband had been the last person to drive the car and he’d left it in reverse gear.  The handbrake wasn’t on very much because the car had been parked on the flat.

Turning the ignition started the car and, because it was in gear, it started moving backwards quite quickly.  I jumped out of the way and the car careered back and bashed into the garage.  The garage wall didn’t collapse but where it had been hit it had moved by about an inch.  It needed fixing.

The insurance claim was embarrassing because I had to admit to being an idiot, but the claim was successful.

I have never falsified an insurance claim, and I can’t imagine doing so in the future.

I’ve just watched a show about people who do fake insurance claims and the insurance company doesn’t seem to get the police involved.

WHY NOT?  These people are committing fraud.  I am truly shocked that these people are allowed to get away with this without penalty if caught.

Friday, 13 March 2009

France vs England

Over the last couple of days I have travelled on Eurostar from London to Paris and back again.

St Pancras International is a beautiful station, and the process of checking in is as smooth as one could want. 

There are gorgeous shops, cafes and bars prior to going through the departure security and passport checks.

Free WiFi is available while one is waiting in the departure lounge and a line of sockets prevent loss of battery power.

I only have two criticisms: the immediate area surrounding the station is a dump and most provide a very poor impression on international visitors and there are no shops, bar the obligatory WH Smith, in the departure lounge.

Gare du Nord is a different proposition.  It feels crowded and cramped, although that does improve as one ascends the stairs to the Eurostar area.

The shopping available before reaching the departure lounge is poor but improves slightly after the security checks.

But there isn’t any WiFi, which is rubbish.  The Eurostar traffic must be primarily business people, most of whom need access to an internet connection to work.  It seems silly not to provide something so basic.  And it also irritated me because I’d planned to do some work while I was waiting and instead I had to go and get a drink and some sleep.

Wednesday, 11 March 2009


A town councillor in Wales, Mark Easton, had a beautiful view of the mountains, until a new neighbour purchased the land below his house and built a new home.

The new home was 18 inches higher than the planning dept had approved, so Mark Easton, mad about his lost view, went to the local authority to make sure they enforced the roof line height.

The new neighbour had to drop the roof height, at great expense.
Recently, Mark Easton called the planning dept, and informed them that his new neighbour had installed some vents on the side of his new property.

Mark didn't like the look of these vents and asked the planning dept to investigate.

When they went to Mark's home to see what the vents looked like, this is what they found...

vents close up


Friday, 6 March 2009

Dodgy curry

I went out for a curry last night.  I had a few drinks, but not a silly amount.

When I got in I uploaded some photos and relaxed in front of the box before heading up to bed.

I don’t know what time it happened, but at some point I woke with a bit of a start.  I got out of bed and I swear I saw a snake in the bed, near the headboard.  It had adder-like markings.

I said “Dave! Dave! There’s a snake!  I swear I saw a snake.”

Dave woke groggily and we spent two minutes looking for a venomous snake.  I think we soon realised there wasn’t one.

That kind of thing doesn’t happen to me.  Either I had an “episode” or there were unusual ingredients in my curry. 

Do I need a doctor, a shrink or do I just need to catch up on my sleep?

Wednesday, 4 March 2009

We’re brilliant

I know companies like Sony do a lot of work on robotics and they try to make them as human as possible.

Their robots can climb stairs. That’s impressive.

Other companies have built a robot that’ll do the vacuuming while you’re out. That’s handy.

Bet they can’t handle Liverpool Street station at rush hour and make it from the train platform to the tube platform without bumping into anyone. That’s brilliant.