Monopoly and the Eurozone crisis

As the children entered our holiday apartment they ran from room to room deciding who would have which bed and sussing out where the entertainment was.

In the lounge there was a game of Monopoly and, before bags were unpacked, Monopoly was unpacked and a game commenced.

Four days later and the game is still being played.  Houses have been bought which makes the game a little more interesting.  Normally the purchase of houses means the game is close to its end but not here.

Hannah landed on a property with a couple of houses and she had already mortgaged some of her properties.  The rent demand was high and would have taken her close to bankruptcy.  If Hannah was bankrupt then the game would be over.  This is something that was playing on Ethan's mind because I heard him say "Because of the recent Eurozone crisis the rent is reduced to M720."

Ethan's generosity meant Hannah wasn't bankrupt and the game could continue.

Since this first Eurozone crisis moment I've heard the same phrase quite a lot with Ethan and Hannah both offering a discount to the other, although Hannah was generally in need more then Ethan.  But there's been a change and they've both agreed that come August 1st the Eurozone crisis will be over.  Clearly I'm delighted.

 

 

 

Boys will be boys

Arthur, resident expert on the local area, took Hannah and Ethan (and their hanger-on parents) out to the Lochside for a lesson in bushcraft.

We found sorrel, wood sorrel and tasted them; sorrel has a lemony taste and wood sorrel tastes like Bramley apple.  We learned how to grasp a nettle without it stinging (although we have yet to do this successfully) and learned that they can be eaten too.  We were taught how to use a rush to make a wick for a lamp as well as how to make a simple shelter and start a fire.  We used a fire steel and beech bark but also saw the method that relies on friction generated between two pieces of wood.

Once the lesson was over we made our way back to Tigh Mor, our temporary home.

Ethan had been behaving for a whole hour and, once the lesson was over, he decided to go a little mad.  He ran through some tall grass that, in places, was taller than him.

We were all heading back to the house and we had lost Ethan; we simply couldn't see him in the grass.  As I called to him to tell him we would head back without him, he emerged from the grass.  He didn't look good.

His arms had been scratched and stung and, in all of these places, his arm had local swelling that looked like an allergic reaction.  I looked at his eyes and they were watering and he was sneezing profusely.

Ethan suffers from hay fever and had just done the most stupid thing a hay fever sufferer could do, deliberately agitate grass and get as close to it as possible.

We gave him a hay fever tablet, a good talking to, a shower and tucked him up in bed.  When he woke up the next morning he couldn't open his eyes and his face was still swollen.  I think he might have learned his lesson but maybe not.  He is a boy after all.

 

Toe in the … mud

Whenever a walk starts you will find the walkers avoiding puddles and mud.
As the terrain increases in puddles and mud that are unavoidable you will find the hiker accepts that footwear will be getting wet and muddy.
As the walker's footwear becomes soaked and caked in mud the walker will only avoid terrain that is likely to worsen the muddy or wet state of the boots or shoes.
This is of course unless the person concerned is a child, for they are completely oblivious and simply don't care about the state of clothing or footwear.  As witness Ethan, waiting on a rock after discovering that the mud he was stepping on, was as deep as his knee, and he was more stepping into, rather than onto, the mud.

Being out of touch

There is an upside to being out of touch.  Without texts, calls and regular requests to the 3G network for data, when the evening arrives I still have over 50% of the iPhone battery charge intact.

As to the plan to overcome the isolation, there wasn't one unless you count "trying to come to terms with it."

I didn't go to the pathetic Wifi area every night but I did check in sometimes.  I also took advantage of any drives/walks that took me into a 3G area.  But other than driving to try and find a poorly secured private Wifi network that I could access from the street or driving to a decent 3G signal there wasn't anything I could do, was there?

Coming to terms with my situation seemed to be the healthiest approach.

It's summer!

The last time I checked it was August.

I'm wearing leggings and a long sleeved top and I'm cold.  I could put something on my feet and get a jacket/cardigan/jumper/blanket/sleeping bag but I want to pop the heating on, AND I CAN'T.

We've just had our roof replaced.  While the scaffolding was up, and since I discovered how expensive scaffolding is (very), we decided we'd get the outside of the house decorated and fit new, improved guttering at the same time.

When I say we'd fit new guttering clearly I mean we'd ask the roofer to do it.  And the roofer did fit the guttering, or all the bits the guttering place managed to supply in time.  Going into this week we were four downpipes down out of a total of ten.  This might not seem to be a problem but you are discounting the fact that this is not a good year for us and luck.

One of the hoppers that should have had a downpipe attached happened to be located directly above the flue for the boiler.  For those who don't know what a hopper is (and I confess that dealing with builders and the like is teaching me more than I ever wanted to know about such terminology) then here's a picture.

Clearly it's a thing that collects water as a funnel for the water to be channeled into a downpipe.  There is a fair quantity of water collected by this hopper and apparently it "chucked it down" over the weekend; the period between hopper being fitted and the last four downpipes arriving in stock.

This means a large quantity of water fell from the hopper onto the boiler flue.  A significant  amount of this water made its way into our boiler which has now decided it won't work (and yes, naturally boilers are sentient beings).

The fan at the top of the boiler is soaked and sprays water around before it goes bang and blows a fuse.  I screamed like a girl when this happened today.  The builder who was demolishing our conservatory at the time had to check I was OK.

Apparently we need a new fan, and maybe a valve thingy and a valve lead thingy.  And despite our British Gas Home Cover (or whatever it's called, in old money it was 3 Star Cover) we need to foot the £373 parts bill because the water ingress was our fault.  Fortunately our roofer is contrite and has offered to fund this (without us asking).

The irony is that we plan to replace this boiler in October.  The disappointments about this are threefold: I am clearly too old and too ugly for the British Gas guy to consider trying to "sort it out" so that we don't have to pay for parts (this despite the two cups of tea supplied), I had to endure the sight of large British Gas bum crack for over two hours and will probably have to endure the same tomorrow once the ordered parts are available for fitting AND I'm cold and can't turn the heating on.  I could whine about cold showers but I think you get the gist.

Did I mention it's summer?

Incommunicado

We left a Stockton Heath morning that promised to be sunny and warm and headed into heavy and persistent rain.  The further north we drove, the further south the temperature measurement on the instrument cluster sank.

Eventually we arrived at our mini Hogwarts "home for a fortnight".

I know a holiday should be a break from the routine.  One should leave the shackles of work and home and relax.  Sometimes this can be difficult, but not here.  I couldn't check Facebook, Twitter, Google+, e-mail, Instagram; I was in a 3G dead zone.

I knew the holiday complex had Wifi so I resolved to "catch up" later.

After the children went to bed I disappeared off in search of Wifi and found it near reception.  It was painfully slow.  Twitter and Facebook were timing out.  I gave up.

This should have been relaxing but it wasn't.  I didn't have phone reception either.  I was, literally, out of touch.  I needed a plan.

 

 

Home again, home again

Home today from holiday and we have a broken boiler.  I've had better welcomes.

We think we know what the problem is.  Something is blowing the fuse so either the pump is having to work too hard or there's a short circuit somewhere.  There's a small amount of water dripping from boiler so my money is on water causing a short circuit.

British Gas have been called and we have an appointment for tomorrow morning which sort of stuffs up a smooth transition back to work, but not a lot seems to be going right this year so I'm just going to shrug it off as a minor inconvenience (even though I hate cold showers and having to boil a kettle to do the washing up).  We've had to dismantle half the kitchen to give the Gas people decent access to the boiler so it had better get fixed tomorrow!

At least I have decent Wifi and that has been lacking for the last fortnight.  So I have a tonne (well a few) blogs that are stored in a drafts folder.  I thought about pretending I was just starting my holiday tomorrow and posting one a night.  Stupid?  Daft?  Irrelevant?  You just don't care?

I'll probably do it anyway because I hate to see effort wasted, but it would be nice to have your views (and sympathy).

Who are you?

How many of you have friend requests on Facebook, look at the mutual friends and end up thinking "They must have gone to school with me."

The trouble is when you look at their profile they don't look like they used to; they have wrinkles and bags under their eyes, grey hair or hair that's dyed to cover grey hair.  I genuinely struggle to recognise these people.

The other things that make it tricky to identify who they were is whether they've changed their name or whether you even remember their name from your list of fellow pupils.

There were 180 people in my year at secondary school (I think) and there's no way I can remember all of their names and further, remembering whether I liked them, or they liked me.

I think all friend requests from that far back should be accompanied by a picture of the requestor, as they were then.  Then at least the visual memory gets a chance to try and facilitate the remembering.

I've made a start and I've uploaded a few pictures from my school years; some are flattering, some not, but all are definitely me.  So if anyone wants to know if they knew me, they can have a look and see.  The Facebook album is here.  But for those who aren't Facebook-enabled, here they are:

First year at Primary School

Later Primary School years

Secondary school

6th form/Technical college

Carbon offset

Along with my Olympic tickets, for mountain biking in Hadleigh in Essex, I received Travelcards.  Yay!  Except "I'M TRAVELLING OUTSIDE LONDON TRAVELCARD ZONES" so can't use them.  Muppets.

Also included in my ticket package was a weird thing from BP.  There were six QR coded tickets that talked about carbon offset.  I scanned a code and followed the instructions.

Apparently BP was kindly offering to carbon offset my journey to the Olympics.  Well offsetting my journey to London because that seems to be where the Olympics is happening, apart from all of the events that aren't happening in London (LIKE MOUNTAIN BIKING!).

As I meandered my way through the carbon offset process thinking "Why am I bothering offsetting a journey from Brentwood to London when I'm actually travelling to Hadleigh" I noticed that the QR code didn't know where I lived.  In fact, its default assumed location for me was America.  It appeared I could choose the journey I wanted BP to offset.  It also appeared I could choose the number of people in my party and BP would offset all their journeys.

The words Deepwater Horizon seeped from my subconscious into my conscious mind and started to control me.

Believe it or not there are four in our party and they are all travelling from Australia.

I have five more QR codes to play with.  I plan to get BP carbon offsetting a heck of a lot of carbon.  I figure the environment is owed.

If you've just received your tickets then why not do the same.

Facebook - more or less

Have Facebook friends you don't see enough of? Or are there people whose updates bore you rigid?

Change your News feed content using your phone. In the Facebook app menu select Friends and select the friend you want to see more/less of.

If you select them as a close friend you will see all of their activity.

If you deselect "See in News Feed" you won't see any of their posts.

Simple.

The easiest gooey chocolate cake

This cake is covered in ganache, but don't let this put you off.  It also has a weird method and some strange ingredients, again, don't let this put you off.  My daughter (aged nine) made this with very little help from me, and my help was probably more along the "interfering mother" lines than help that was actually required.
If you are looking at the recipe and thinking "I haven't got this" or "I haven't got that" then let me help you out.
Firstly, if you're like me, you never have fresh buttermilk in the fridge.  You may have once thought "I'll buy some buttermilk because I need it for a recipe" and then never got round to making the recipe so the buttermilk is sitting in your freezer.  If, like me, once you've decided to make something you need to make it immediately, then you won't want to wait for the buttermilk to defrost.  Fear not because you can make your own buttermilk (sort of).  Take half a cup of milk (skimmed or semi-skimmed) and add a couple of teaspoons of lemon juice.  Leave for a couple of minutes and the disgusting resultant gloop will serve as a replacement for buttermilk.
Ganache requires double cream.  I usually have cream stored in my freezer as a result of over-estimating the family's desire for heart-attack inducing food.  If you take the cream out of the freezer when you start making the recipe, it should be usable by the time you get to the ganache bit.  It won't look usable (it'll look like a solid lump of lard) but when scooped out into a bowl and given a jolly good stir then it will resemble something usable.  This is what I did when I made the cake.
Lastly, the cake tin needed for this is a deep (and I mean deep, sort of 10cm deep) loose bottomed or springform tin.  Whilst I do have such a tin, I don't like having to buy a new tin for every new recipe I want to try.  Other people have made this cake by splitting the mixture into two shallower Victoria sponge tins and cooking for less time.  I would guess the cooking time should be 50mins to an hour but the skewer test is your friend here.  The two cake tin method also eliminates the tricky slicing the cake in two (or three) part of the recipe.  Alternatively you can cook in a slightly bigger, deep tin if you have one, you will just need to watch the cooking time.
This is an easy cake, but not a quick cake, to make.  Don't start making it at 10pm as a treat for the next day.  The resultant lack of sleep will reduce its appeal.
Ingredients

• 200g dark chocolate
• 200g unsalted butter
• 1 tbsp instant coffee granules
• 85g self-raising flour
• 85g plain flour
• 1⁄4 tsp bicarbonate of soda
• 200g light muscovado sugar
• 200g golden caster sugar (I used white granulated and other people have reduced this to 100g successfully)
• 25g cocoa powder
• 3 medium eggs (I used large)
• 5 tbsp buttermilk (see hint above if you don't have any)

and for the ganache:

• 200g dark chocolate
• 284ml carton double cream
• 2 tbsp golden caster sugar (I forgot to add this and didn't notice the difference)

Method

• Butter a 20cm round cake tin (at least 7.5cm deep unless you're going to use two tins) and line and butter the base.
• Preheat the oven to 140C (fan oven).
• Break 200g dark chocolate in pieces into a medium, heavy-based pan. Cut 200g butter into pieces and tip in with the chocolate, then mix 1 tbsp instant coffee granules into 125ml cold water and pour into the pan. Warm through over a low heat just until everything is melted - don't overheat.
• While the chocolate is melting, mix 85g self-raising flour, 85g plain flour, ¼ bicarbonate of soda, 200g light muscovado sugar, 200g golden caster sugar and 25g cocoa powder in a big bowl to get rid of any lumps. To save time you could sieve ingredients as you add them to the bowl, or you could try a low speed in a mixer to eliminate lumps.  I just bashed the lumps with a spoon.
• Beat 3 medium eggs in a bowl and stir in 5 tbsp buttermilk or 5 tbsp of the lemon juice and milk concoction.
• Now pour the melted chocolate mixture and the egg mixture into the flour mixture, stirring just until everything is well blended and you have a smooth, quite runny consistency. Pour this into the tin and bake for 1 hour 25- 1 hour 30 minutes - if you push a skewer in the centre it should come out clean and the top should feel firm (don't worry if it cracks a bit). Leave to cool in the tin (don't worry if it dips slightly), then turn out onto a wire rack to cool completely.
• I would recommend making the ganache while the cake is cooking and you'll still have time to do the washing up and have a cup of tea.
• To make the ganache: chop 200g dark chocolate into small pieces and tip into a bowl. Pour a 284ml of double cream into a pan, add 2 tbsp golden caster sugar, and heat until it is about to boil.  Don't let it boil.  Take off the heat and pour it over the chocolate.  Stir until the chocolate has melted and the mixture is smooth.  Leave, uncovered, on the side.
• Ganache is easier to work if it isn't very runny and allowing it to cool will make life easier.  If the ganache is too stiff when you need it then quick ten second microwave blasts can get it to the right consistency.
• When the cake is cool, and hopefully the ganache is workable, then slice your cake.  I turned my cake upside-down so that it had a nice flat top and I used a very sharp long-bladed knife to gingerly slice my cake in two.  If you are feeling brave then slice into three.
• Using a palette knife use the ganache to sandwich your slices together.
• Pour the remaining ganache onto the top of the cake trying to get even coverage and allow it to cascade down the sides.  If the ganache isn't too runny it should be possible to spread it carefully over the top and around the sides.  If the ganache ends up dribbling down to the plate then use the palette knife to scoop it up and onto the sides.  Once you've finished this it should look a bit like this.

I've read that a good ganache is shiny.  Well this was shiny before it went into the fridge.  The plate looks remarkably clear of dribbly chocolate.  You know that trick that chefs do when they wipe plates with a tea towel?  I used kitchen towel to achieve a neat effect but if I hadn't scooped the ganache up back onto the cake I might have left it au naturel.
If you plan to decorate with grated chocolate curls or something that needs a sticky base then add it now.  If you want to add writing then read on.
Mix icing sugar and milk until you have a gloopy, smooth consistency; not entirely liquid but not stiff and solid.  Pop into icing bag with very thin round nozzle.  (The best icing bags are plastic bags with the corner cut off.)
Practise writing on a chopping board and then get creative.  I should have made my icing less liquid and could have used a finer nozzle, although a significant increase in artistic ability would probably have made the biggest improvement.
This is my finished result:

Lemon drizzle traybake with pictures

The best bit of a lemon drizzle cake is the lemon drizzle.  Frankly, the cake is nothing without the drizzle.

I've often felt that there is not enough drizzle for the average lemon drizzle cake, but happily I have found a solution.

This is Andrea's recipe but she freely admits she stole it from the wonderful Mary Berry.

If you have struggled, as I have, to find a suitable tray bake tin, then I recommend you invest in a Silverwood tin which gives you all sorts of cake size options and is also good for those strapped for storage space.

Ingredients:

• 225g margarine (I use olive spread)
• 225g sugar (granulated or caster)
• 275g self-raising flour
• 2 tsps. baking powder
• 4 eggs
• 4 tbsps. milk
• Finely grated zest of 2 lemons
• For the crunchy topping: 175g granulated sugar
• Juice of 2 lemons

Method:

• Line 30cm x 23cm traybake tin with baking parchment

Lined Silverwood tin

• Heat oven to 160’ C/325’ F/ Gas Mark 3
• Beat margarine and sugar until light and fluffy

Light and fluffy

• Add the eggs 2 at a time with a spoonful of the SR flour to stop the mixture curdling. Continue adding the flour and baking powder, mixing well after each addition

• Add the milk and the lemon zest, mixing in well so it is evenly distributed

Lemon zest

• Turn the mixture into the prepared tin and level the top gently with the back of a spatula

Ready for the oven

• Bake in the middle of the oven for 35 – 40 minutes until the traybake springs back when pressed lightly with a finger in the centre and is beginning to shrink away from the sides of the tin

Fresh from the oven

• To make the crunchy topping, mix the granulated sugar and lemon juice in a small bowl to give a runny consistency
• Spoon this mixture evenly over the traybake while it is still just warm

After the drizzle is added

• Cut into squares when cold

Cooled drizzle

• Eat

If you have struggled, as I have, to find a suitable tray bake tin, then I recommend you invest in a Silverwood tin which gives you all sorts of cake size options and is also good for those strapped for storage space.

Killer brownies recipe with pictures

Killer because they are capable of inducing heart attacks.  Brownies because they’re brownies.  Recipe because…


Ingredients

• 250g unsalted butter (I use organic but you don’t have to)
• 200g dark chocolate (recipe actually says Fairtrade 70% cocoa solids and in handwritten capitals it says Green and Blacks but I didn’t use Green and Blacks)
• 50g chopped pecans
• 80g cocoa powder (don’t know why recipe doesn’t say Fairtrade for this)
• 65g plain flour (I use organic)
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 360g sugar (recipe says caster sugar but I used golden granulated sugar, whatever that is)
• 4 large free range eggs (recipe says free range or organic whereas I didn’t think they were mutually exclusive)

Method

• Recipe states 25cm square tin and I’ve bought a lovely one from Lakeland which has a removable base.  
• Line your tin with greaseproof paper and grease tin and greaseproof paper (I know this is a faff) and turn the oven on to 180 degrees (or 160 degrees for fan oven)

Lined tin

• In a bain marie (large bowl over a saucepan of simmering water) melt chocolate and butter then stir in your nuts (the chopped ones).

Butter, chocolate and pecans in bain marie

• In a separate bowl mix cocoa powder, flour, baking powder and sugar.
• Sieve flour and cocoa mix onto melted chocolate and butter. (I tip melted stuff into Kenwood Chef bowl and then add flour and cocoa mix).  Mix until combined.

Chocolate mixture with flour, cocoa, baking powder and sugar

• Beat eggs then add and mix well until silky consistency (I don’t really know what a silky consistency looks like so I just mix for a bit until I get bored - I have a low boredom threshold).

Silky consistency?

• Pour and scoop and scrape your mixture into the baking tin and chuck in the oven and cook for 25 minutes.  There is no point in guessing whether it’s “done” because with brownies it’s a dark art so just stick to the 25 mins.

Fresh from the oven (will sink/sag after about 10 mins)

• When the killer brownies emerge from the oven, allow to cool before cutting into heart attack inducing chunks and serve to your murder victims.  The brownies can be difficult to cut.  The brownies are much easier to cut (with pizza cutter) when frozen.
• The brownies freeze very well.

It's better this way

I used to try and persuade my husband to join and use social networking sites.

I was partially successful. He has a Facebook account and even a Twitter account. But that's it.

He uses the Facebook one when he's drunk and the Twitter one, well... never.

I've decided it's better this way. Imagine if he read all of my posts when sober.

It really doesn't bear thinking about.

Shane's (edited) 46 stages of Twitter

1. Hear the word Twitter.  Scoff.
2. Hear it again from someone else.  Scoff again.
3. Hear about famous celebrity who is apparently "On Twitter."  Scoff, but make mental note to check it out.
4. Log into Facebook to comfort self.
5. Sign up for Twitter.
6. Give up because it seems dumb.
7. Loudly criticize others on Twitter.
8. Follow @stephenfry, @jimmycarr, @schofe, @Lord_Sugar, @alancarr, @richardpbacon, and one other person you actually know.
9. Post tweet that is a variant of: "Trying out this Twitter thing."
10. Attempt to dig a little deeper into Twitter.
11. Notice rampant usage of words: "Tweet," "Twitter," "Twitterverse," "Tweetie," "Tweetdeck," and something called "RT."
12. Scoff again, this time in confusion.
13. Tell friends you "tried that Twitter thing, but didn't get it and it's stupid anyway."
14. Log into Facebook because that site at least makes sense.
15. Read story about Twitter somewhere.
16. Log back into Twitter.
17. Try to avoid saying Tweet, Twitter, Twitterverse, Tweetie, Tweetdeck, and ReTweet
18. Respond to @stephenfry.
19. Curse self for fanning out.
20. Log off for 4 months.
21. Come back, just to see.
22. Post something relatively funny.
23. Get RT'd.
24. Discover that RT means ReTweet.
25. Make it your life mission to get RT'd.
26. Install Twitter app on your phone.
27. No longer ashamed to say "I've got to tweet that."
28. Attend events with the sole intention of "Tweeting" them.
29. Pray to get RT'd.
30. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.
31. Close computer.
32. Open computer.  Refresh.  Refresh.  Refresh.
33. Think in 140 character sentences.
34. Compulsively check phone all day every day.
35. Tweet that you compulsively check phone all day every day.
36. Alienate actual people in your life in an attempt to impress ones you don't know.
37. Lose weight because you forget to eat.
38. Place phone by bed so you can check first thing in the morning.
39. Defend Twitter to the death from detractors.
40. Hear self, and vaguely recognize that you have become "That Guy/Girl."
41. Feel like, and start to behave like a geek. 
42. Vow to quit Twitter to preserve sanity.
43. Read this and change mind.
44. Think to self, "I should tweet that."
45. Recognise irony.
46. Tweet it.

If I can't take it with me when I go…

 

Unlike Eartha Kitt, I know that when I have to go, I won't have a choice.  I also know that I don't want to take things with me when I go.  All of which begs the question "So why is my loft full of stuff that I'm keeping for posterity?"

What should one keep for future generations?

My loft has a few different categories of "stuff".

Christmas decorations - I have too many of these but can't bring myself to let go.  Additionally every year I see more that I want and, whilst my willpower is strong, I occasionally crack.

Camping gear - We started with basic camping gear and, over the years, our camping gear has grown, like Topsy.  If I were starting afresh then I would have a lot less gear and it would stack nicely and pack neatly into the back of a Ford Fiesta.  As it is we're pushing our luck when we try and fit it into an S-MAX.

Baby stuff - We are a two child family.  If a third child appears on the scene it's either an accident, or it was the only way to escape a job I wasn't enjoying.  We have disposed of most of the major baby items but we do have some things.  We have a travel cot, baby toys and books, a potty, bottle steriliser, disposable bibs, toddler plates and bowls.  Because we might have baby and toddler visitors and, if we do, these things may be useful.  When our children were small we never expected people to have anything when we visited them and yet I want to be prepared for the "just in case" scenario.

I have ornaments that we have bought over the years that have been relegated to the loft.  We don't have space for everything it seems so things languish in the attic.  Some of these things were chosen on holiday or given to us.  It seems wrong to get rid of them.

Ski gear - We don't ski a lot.  We hardly ski at all.  Our loft has skis, poles, ski bag, ski boots, ski clothes.  Why?

Suitcases and backpacks - Everyone has these don't they?

Sports gear - The badminton, tennis, racquetball and squash gear.   The rollerblades and diving gear.

Spare bedding - Duvets, pillows and stuff.  Surely this is normal too?

Books - Kids' books that belonged to us as children, kids' books that belonged to our children, adult books that belonged to us, adult books that belonged to adults who have died but that we think are books "of note", educational books that remind us we were clever once.

Childhood memories - cards, letters, certificates, school work, souvenirs, toys (for us and the children).

Things that other people valued because they kept them and they're now dead and we now feel bad about getting rid of it.

Surely this is normal hoarding, or do we need help?

Oh, and I haven't even mentioned the stuff we store in the garage and the shed.

 

 

 

Spring chicken crowd pleaser

You know those weekends when the hoards descend and you need an easy and tasty recipe?  I have such a recipe.  I rarely share main course recipes because I'm not very good at savoury dishes and I rarely find something worthy of a blog.  This recipe deserves to be posted.

I'll give you the ingredients for four people but it's easy to make more, pan sizes permitting.

Ingredients

• 1 onion
• 500g chicken - the recipe says boneless, skinless chicken thighs but I don't think it matters if the joints are chicken breast or if they still have the skin on but chicken breasts should be cut in two
• 300g small new potatoes
• 425ml veg stock (from stock cube)
• 350g broccoli, cut into small florets
• 350g spring greens (I substituted french beans as my children wouldn't eat spring greens)
• 140g petit pois
• a bunch of spring onion
• 2 tbsp pesto (the green basil variety - I didn't have any jar pesto so I whizzed up some fresh)

Method

• Heat some oil in a pan and fry the chicken until lightly coloured.
• Add the onion and fry gently until softened.  The recipe says to do this the other way round but I can't get colour on the chicken if there's already onion in the pan.
• Add the potatoes, stock and some freshly ground pepper and bring to the boil.
• Cover and simmer for 30 mins until potatoes are tender and the chicken is cooked.
• (You can freeze at this point if you want to.)
• Add the broccoli, spring greens (french beans), petit pois and spring onions, stir well and return to boil.
• Cover then cook for 5 mins.
• Stir in pesto and heat through.
• Serve.

You can choose different green veg for this dish but the size of the veg needs to be small enough to cook in about 5 mins.

It's the pesto that makes this dish special and it really is easy to make (and there's not much washing up either).

Lateral thinking

I've always thought that I'm quite lucky to be working in marketing for an automotive company.  It has to be more exciting than working in marketing for an aggregates company doesn't it?

Well the answer is probably yes but I've found a lovely bit of aggregate marketing that is very clever.

Whilst driving along a road I saw a ginormous pothole and thought "Somebody needs to know about that."  I stopped, took a picture and then thought "So who do I tell?"

I could phone Brentwood Council who would tell me it was a Highways concern which is managed by the County Council and they'd give me a phone number which wouldn't be answered and I'd get annoyed and I might try again but to no avail.  The lack of commas in that sentence was deliberate.  It should have left you gasping for breath. expiring as well as exasperated.

I could use Twitter but the Council ignore tweets with gay abandon.

I could use Facebook but that can be ignored quite easily too.  Either that or a placatory response can be posted but no action taken.

What I needed was an app.  As is usual in these scenarios, I find my genius idea has already been invented by someone quicker and smarter than me, and this time it was someone who worked in aggregate marketing.

If you check out www.fillthathole.org.uk you'll find the link to this app.  This app allows you to report a pothole with a really simple interface and whilst the website is branded with CTC - The UK's National Cyclists Organisation, the funding behind the app is Aggregate industries at www.aggregate.com.

The link was obvious to me.  Aggregate is what is used to fill potholes.  It's the perfect way to generate demand for your product.  It also happens to be timed to coincide with a doubling of the funding pot for pothole repairs as announced by the Government here.

Very clever lateral thinking.

 

If you're searching for my pothole you need to look for Hazard number #66845

 

A job you wouldn't want

I have reached the end of my tether as far as TalkTalk are concerned.

The problems I blogged about a while ago have continued.

On March 26th TalkTalk wrote to me advising that a new Direct Debit Instruction has been set up for my account.  (The previous instruction had been cancelled by TalkTalk in error.)

Today they have sent me a red reminder about an outstanding balance (caused by the cancellation of the Direct Debit) and they helpfully suggest that I register, or reinstate a Direct Debit for my Tiscali service.

1. They have a Direct Debit mandate and can take money owing.
2. Tiscali is the old name for TalkTalk and hasn't been used for years but the debt collection department haven't bothered to update their letter.
3. The red reminder threatens to "restrict" my service.

I'm beyond angry and frustrated into a whole new stratosphere of something beyond anger and frustration.  Were the delightful Mr Fry here he would use his enormous brain to provide me with suitable words to describe my mood.

The call centre staff have had plenty of opportunities to resolve this, as have the Twitter Social Media team so I went to the next level.  I discovered a TalkTalk Facebook page but posts were disabled. I left a comment on a post but it wasn't good enough, I needed a more satisfying outlet.

I googled "TalkTalk CEO e-mail address" and my trusty CEO e-mail address site popped up: ceoemail.com

Consequently Dido Harding received an e-mail outlining my woes and requesting intervention, but that still didn't float my boat (dido.harding@talktalkplc.com if you're interested).

I then thought that I needed to leave TalkTalk so started a Google search relating to that and found people who had found it difficult to leave TalkTalk.  It was then I found the TalkTalk Community forum.  I started started surfing through the thousands and thousands of complaints and issues that had been posted.  I spotted that there was only one person responding to all of these forum posts.  Em, at TalkTalk, seems to be the only person who deals with all of the angry and frustrated people who are on the receiving end of TalkTalk's legendary appalling Customer Service.  I wouldn't want her job for all the tea in China, or anywhere else for that matter.

Gluten free key lime pie

I wanted a gluten free dessert for an Easter family gathering and came across this recipe.  It wasn't gluten free when I found it, but with a small adaptation it could be and it was also easy to make.

Ingredients

For the base

• 350g gluten free digestive biscuits (gluten free digestives are sold in Tesco and Sainsbury but if you don't have an allergy/intolerance to gluten then just use normal digestives)
• 125g unsalted butter

For the filling

• 4 large eggs, separated
• 400ml full fat condensed milk (I used low fat)
• Finely grated zest and juice of 4 limes
• 50g golden caster sugar (I used normal granulated)

Method

• Preheat oven to 160°C (fan oven) and grease a deep 25cm fluted tart tin with a loose bottom.  I don't think my tart tin was very deep and it would have been better if it had been deeper.  This is the one I used.
• To make the base crush the biscuits either in a bag using a rolling pin or using a food processor.
• Melt the butter and mix with the biscuit crumbs.  When I did this I lacked faith and panicked and added more butter.  Don't do what I did.  Have faith and follow the recipe.
• Press the biscuit and butter mixture into the greased tin on the base and up the sides to make the pie case.  If you don't have a tart tin then you can use a springform tin instead but it won't look quite as pretty.
• Bake the case in the oven for 10-15 minutes.  My case shrank in the oven and I nearly threw the thing in the bin.  I think that might have been because I messed with the recipe and added too much butter.  But just in case your case shrinks too, then just make up a little extra biscuit and butter mix and do a DIY fix up job where it shrank (but don't re-bake the case).  This might not matter if you have a very deep tart tin but if you don't then you will need the sides of the case to be as tall as possible to contain the filling.
• For the filling, beat the egg yolks until they are light and fluffy and then beat in the condensed milk, lime zest and juice.
• In another bowl, whisk the egg whites and sugar until firm.
• Gently fold the egg whites into the lime mixture using a large metal spoon.
• Fill the biscuit base with the lime mixture and bake in the oven for 20-25 minutes until set and slightly browned around the edges.  When I filled my base I had a little bit too much filling for the size of my base.  I also had a bit extra base mix after my DIY fix it job on the base.  I used the extra biscuit base in a couple of ramekins and baked for a few minutes and then added the spare filling thus making two extra mini desserts.  Also, when baking the main pie I saw that one edge of the pie went a light brown colour quite quickly so I spent the whole of the baking time gradually turning the pie in the oven so it cooked evenly.
• Once out of the oven, the pie, not you, leave to cool.  The pie will shrink a bit so don't worry this is normal.
• I remove from the tin by putting the tin on a bowl and gradually removing the edge of the tart tin downwards allowing me to lift the pie away from the edge bit of the tin.  I've not been brave enough to remove from the base of the tin.  That just seemed like a disaster waiting to happen.
• Just before serving, dust the pie lightly with icing sugar.  You could go the whole hog and do fancy decoration with lime slices and mint leaves like the person who wrote the recipe in the first place, like this. Or not.