I need a PA

No not a public address system, a personal assistant.

This morning I couldn't find my pass for work. Normally when this happens there are about five places I need to search before the offending item is discovered.

This morning I looked in about 500 places (note exaggeration for effect).

The dumb thing I that I know that stupid piece of plastic is either in the car or the house, somewhere. I know I'll find the damned thing but only after I've gone through the pain and humiliation of the leper treatment at work.

I visited Mr Security Card today and he asked for my name and immediately on his system produced the picture on my id badge. Admittedly the picture was taken over 10 years ago but it's definitely me.

One might think that my passing resemblance to a former me might be sufficient to enable the process of replacement card creation to begin.

For a bureaucratic giant like Ford though that would be far too simple. So I was given a form to complete which needed to be signed by HR and a manager. The new card would then take five days. In the meantime I have five days to find my old card and re-activate all of the associated privileges.

All of this is a right royal pain in the backside. I've worked for the company for so long that I have built up access rights to almost everywhere. Granted I no longer have access to the design studio but, that aside, I have an access all areas card. Building this up again is too much like hard work. The alternative? Get Dave to look for my card because he's so much better at finding things than me.