Thursday, 9 August 2007

Advice to a friend

If you are dating a woman and she wants to have a child with you, it's because she loves you. She's not looking to trap you. She doesn't just want a baby.

If you don't want a child then please be honest. Don't have unprotected sex on the basis that you can escape later. It's not fair to her, or any child.

If you don't love her and don't want to spend the rest of your life with her, then get out of the relationship and move on. There's nothing worse than the couple who stay together because neither wants to end things.

If she already has children, she is not looking at you as a ticket out of being a single mother, if she were she wouldn't want another child.

If you aren't quite ready for children but you might be in a couple of years then have the honest discussion. She may be thinking that her time is running out, and the magic age for this type of thinking is 35 because that's when fertility starts to decline rapidly. She may have decided that you are 'the one' but her biological clock won't let her wait a couple of years.

If you think your girlfriend has any of these ulterior motives then you clearly don't trust her. If you don't trust her, then you can't love her. If you don't love her, move on.

1 comment:

v!sh said...

Point taken. I will be careful...tsk tsk :)