I'm gonna kick your furry arse

Once upon a time Ann and Dave acquired two rescued kittens: Sydney and Darwin.

Ann and Dave treated these kittens like babies; attending to their every whim and buying them everything a kitten could want.

Two years later Ann and Dave were off to America and so were Sydney and Darwin, except that Darwin had gone missing. Two days later after much frought local door knocking we discovered that Darwin had been run over.

Sydney travelled out to Detroit and was soon joined by another rescued cat - Stanley. Ann and Dave had to lie to be able to take Stanley home with them. The American Humane Society believes cats should be kept indoors and will not allow adoptions to 'parents' who have a different philsophy.

When it was time for Ann and Dave to return to the UK, Syd and Stan went into quarantine for six months. Ann and Dave had become used to living without cats but soon fell back into the routines of pet ownership.

Two years later Ann and Dave moved house and a couple of times Stanley made the trip back to the old house and had to be retrieved. Not long after the move Ann and Dave received a telephone call early on a Saturday. Stanley had been run over and he was soon buried in the back garden.

Sydney got older, slower and more ignored as the family grew with the addition of two children. He went for his annual check ups and at the last one he had some teeth removed.

He now eats meat as well as biscuits and is very vocal when the meat supply runs dry, as it did two days ago.

Which is why, tonight, I heard a lot of miaowing followed by Dave saying "I'm gonna kick your furry arse if you don't shut up."