Your call is important to us…

I would hazard a guess that you have experienced the frustration of phoning a poorly managed call centre.

I’m pretty sure you will recognise at least one of these phrases:

• “Your call is important to us”
• “We are currently experiencing unusually high call volumes”
• “Calls are answered in strict rotation”
• “Your call will be answered as soon as an advisor is available”
• “Dum dum de dum de dum dum de dum, de dum dum de dum de dum dum de dum..”
• “Press star to hear the menu again”
• “Sorry, we didn’t recognise that response, please try again”

I have an inkling that just raising this subject is probably raising your blood pressure, which is why I’ve come up with a genius new business idea.

A new company, for a flat fee per call, will make the call to resolve whatever needs resolving on your behalf.

• Pissed off with Virgin Media?  We’ll call the bastards for you and sort them out.
• Had a ding dong with Sky?  We’ll ring their bell until it ding-a-ling lings.
• Screwed over by British Gas?  We’ll make them so sorry it’ll hurt.
• Is Santander driving you nuts?  We’ll get them begging you for mercy.

“It’s your problem, but we’ll sort it.”

What do you think?  Are you in?