Pumpkin

OK, it's that time of year. All Hallows Eve is just around the corner and it's pumpkin time.

Now before I had kids I never carved a pumpkin, but last year, and this, I have. Last year I got in a mess and the result was a bit of a poor effort, but this year the result was much better. So for your edification, I will now share my pumpkin carving secrets with a how to guide (I know that only mums will be reading now, everyone else will be fetching a beer - when was the last time a man carved a pumpkin?).

1. Buy a smallish pumpkin otherwise you'll be up to your naval in pumkin flesh and seeds.
2. Don't think you'll try and make soup with the pumpkin innards - it's a faff, a hassle and it doesn't even taste that good.
3. Don't think that if you roast the pumpkin seeds they'll taste like those health food store little bags of roasted pumpkin seeds - they will taste of corrugated cardboard, at best.
4. Use a sharp knife and aiming it towards the centre of the beast (pumpkin) chop it's top off. You need to aim for the "lid" to be quite big as this will provide you with access for scooping out innards.
5. Using knife, remove some of the flesh on the lid.
6. Get easily removable stuff out of pumpkin.
7. You now need to scrape away at the flesh to reduce the thickness of your remaining pumpkin as it's easier to carve the thinner it is. My big helpful hint here is to use a grapefruit spoon as it's easier to use than a knife but more effective than a regular spoon.
8. Make sure inside the base of the pumpkin is flat enough for a nightlight (using grapefruit spoon).
9. Draw face on one side, fairly high up. Use non permanent pen and make the shapes simple - triangles are fine for eyes, nose and together they can make a jaggedy toothed mouth.
10. Use sharp knife to carefully cut from outside in along the lines you've drawn.
11. Make sure the flesh on the inside isn't obscuring any light from inside.
12. Make up a diluted bleach solution in large enough bucket to hold pumpkin.
13. Put pumpkin and lid in bleach for 5 mins. This should delay the onset of mould. I read this hint last year and am not sure it works but I've done it again this year.
14. Dry pumpkin and illuminate as necessary.

If you are using candles then remember to blow them out - don't leave them unattended. On the subject of fires starting, my friend who works as firefighter says most domestic fires he sees are the result of faulty washing machines, tumble dryers or dishwashers and the like. So don't put these things on just before you go to bed or go out!!