You know you're old when:
- You mention it's hot and there's a chorus of "Hot flush dear?"
- Your platinum highlights are natural
- Your two year old son calls you Grandma and nobody who hears him bats an eyelid
- You're the only one in the gym on a Sunday night
- The gym's a 10 minute walk away and you drive there and back
- All your friends know about magic knickers
- When you ask a chemist for help with wrinkles/dark circles around the eyes and she says "Too much wine, not enough sleep?"
- You drink half what you might have done at age 18 and you're making a fool of yourself on a dance floor and have to leave early because you're feeling very ill
- You really can't remember a lot about anything
- People at work are talking to you about the early retirement because they think you're eligible
- When you look at the Alumni for your schools and colleges on MySpace you're the oldest one there (OK Darryl and Nick – you beat me but not by much )
- People use the words mid life crisis when they hear you've been doing pole dancing for exercise.
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