Smelly, smelly, smelly

Calling all budding lawyers (specialising in Health and Safety legislation) or maybe any Trade Union representatives who fancy their chances against a big corporate.

Over the weekend we had a bit of an accident at work. I don't know exactly what happened but there was evidence that something nasty had occurred.

The ceiling had collapsed in the area next to my desk and I say collapse but melted or dissolved could be better words. I think there must have been some kind of leak of some sort of liquid. There were dubious splatters on my desk and the floor. The area right under the leaky ceiling was sodden.

We had a couple of evacuees who decided they didn't want to get their feet wet.

At about 3:00pm I couldn't take it any more. The damp stench was overpowering. I called Facilities and said "This office smells." Lesley asked me where I was and explained carpet cleaners would be arriving at 5:00 to deal with the problem. I did consider asking if they had any Shake 'n' Vac but thought a) she may be too young to know what the hell I'm talking about and b) she might think I was a bit mad.

But it did occur to me that there are some rules about working environments and laws and things. Could I call for a walkout on the basis of an obnoxious, obtrusive smell?

Anyway the main reason I'm telling you this is that I'm worried about Denis. "Why?" I hear you cry. Well there are a plethora of reasons but the one that popped up today is perhaps more worrying than most.

Denis and I were discussing the stink of wet carpet tiles and Denis said "It smells like old men's pants." I said I wasn't in the habit of smelling elderly gentlemen's underwear so I wouldn't know. So he continued with "but you know what I mean…" and I said "Er, no." I think it probably smells like a wash you've put in the washing machine which has been washed but left in there, damp, for too long – take that smell and multiply that odour by about 40.

So does anyone know – does that smell like old men's pants? Oh, and can I sue for the physical and emotional distress caused by a) the stink and b) the implication that I know about elderly gent's undies?