Bringing up baby

Channel 4 are doing another reality TV show disguised as a social experiment. The show Bringing Up Baby pits three very different methods of babycare against one another with real babies and real parents living the experiment.

Now most parents have a strong view about how to bring up a baby, which makes for interesting viewing. I have a clear view of things that worked very well for us as a family, and also understand some of the benefits of the methods used by my parents.

I'm happy to talk to people about what worked for us, but I think it's really important that new parents discover the method that works for them.

Of the three methods in the show there is one that in some way is close to the method we followed in that it stresses the importance of routine. Interestingly for me, this, the Truby King method, is the one that is the least attractive of those on display.

The proponent of the Truby King method, Claire Verity, believes one should avoid eye contact with the baby when it's feeding. Verity also believes that ideally a baby should not be cuddled, particularly in the first week and, when this is allowed, it should be restricted to ten minutes per day. She also believes babies should be left outdoors, regardless of weather, for three and a half hours at a time without any attention and they should left alone even if crying.

I struggle to watch the show when the babies are crying and getting no attention. But the thing that really upsets me is Verity's assertion that the baby's cry is the baby's attempt to manipulate the parents and that ignoring the baby "shows it who's boss."

My reaction is strange because I have used the controlled crying technique which, whilst it doesn't leave a baby for hours, does require a baby to cry themselves to sleep by leaving them for increasing lengths of time before attending to them.

Anyway I have a method that worked for me (both of our children slept well for 12 hours a night at eight weeks of age) and I've seen Verity's approach. Whilst I wouldn't force 'our' method onto any parent, I would suggest strongly that nobody follow the barbaric Truby King method advocated by Claire Verity.