I'm almost 40

I went out tonight with a good friend. I can't tell you who 'cos she'll kill me.

She got me drunk, seized my phone and sent inappropriate texts as well as encouraging me to do inappropriate texting, she chatted up attractive, young men and told them I was 40, and forced me to smoke cigarettes and then she asked some nice young men to find cannabis for us.

I'm almost 40.

And I'm back home.

Head's a bit woozy and I stink of smoke. I'm going to jump in the shower to get rid of the stench and go to bed. Oh, and everyone else was about 20 years younger than us. I'm too old for this lark.