My lesbian lover

Last year when Mel and I sorted out our Costco membership Mel bought a card and added me as an additional card holder. As we were doing this the person serving us explained that if we were 'partners' then I could have a card for free. We couldn't start any such deceit as we were part way through the process and, as we had four children milling about, it was obvious we weren't a couple.

This year we thought we'd see if we could get away with it. Mel said that I'd have to do the talking because if she tried to explain anything, or got challenged, she'd be doubled up with laughter and wetting herself. She also thought that the fact we were both wearing wedding rings and surrounded by children might give the game away.

I explained that if anyone doubted we were a couple I could pretend to be injured by the suggestion that Mel wasn't attractive enough for anyone to want to have her as a partner. Alternatively I thought I could just ask "Are you dissing my girl?"

So I arrived before Mel, acquired my card and completed the spouse card info with Melanie's name although, for the purposes of deception, I used the contracted name Mel.

Mel arrived later, and queued to have her photo added to her card. No questions were asked.

And if you think this deception is improper then let me persuade you otherwise. Mel and I are like a married couple.

We're not jumping into bed with one another at every opportunity, our busy lives mean we don't see each other as much as we should, our children get in the way of the relationship, we get ridiculously drunk together, we confide in one another, we provide one another with emotional help and support, we're always there for one another and togather we spend too much in Costco.