Monday, 15 January 2007


I had a fitness assessment at the gym last week. It took over an hour and a man called Steve measured the following:

- Resting heart rate
- Recovery after exercise – stepping (high step) to metronome for - - 3 mins and then measure heart rate a minute after stopping.
- Waist and hip measurements
- Body fat as measured using the pinch test (or about five pinches ouch) and also by machine, pinching is apparently more accurate
- Flexibility – touching toes type thing
- Sit ups – how many in a minute
- Push ups – how many in a minute
- Lung capacity and peak flow – blowing into what looked like a breathalyzer

I didn't really like Steve.

We were talking about sit ups and I said that Dave reckons he does 250 sit ups when he goes to the gym. Steve said "he's not doing them properly." He asked how many we did (I went with Mel). I said 45 but I have done 100. Steve said "you're not doing them properly."

We were talking about squats. Again he asked how many we do and we said 45-50. Steve said "you're not doing them properly."

Steve doesn't even know us. He hasn't seen us exercise. How the hell does he know that we're not 'doing it properly?'

Anyway, there was another very good reason not to like Steve. He delivered the results of the assessment.

I'm average.

Anybody could tell me I was average and I'd probably take a dislike to them (except maybe Dr Who in David Tennant form – yummy).

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