Friday, 23 February 2007

I got it wrong again

There are times when someone isn't interested in honesty.

"Do you like my new haircut?"

"Do you think I was right to quit my well paid and satisfying job to do a meaningless, boring and low paid job that I hate?"

"Do you think I was right to leave my handsome, kind, loving husband and devoted father of my children to have a fling with the skanky milkman whose teeth click and who smells of wee?"

"Do you think I was right to photocopy every part of my bare body and distribute the results in the internal mail?"

These are obvious scenarios where the questioner just wants empathy. They just want to feel good. If they were feeling positive about any of these things then they wouldn't be asking the question. So they're asking because they want reassurance that they haven't just ruined their life (particularly if they have a really crap haircut).

Do I need to point out that only one of the above might be something I've experienced?
Anyway, there other questions where what the enquirer wants is less obvious, and it can be tricky to know whether it's truth they want, or whether they want to hear fantasy. Because if you give them fantasy and they think it's truth then that's cruel. If you give them fantasy and that's what they wanted, then everyone is happy.

And, as I discovered today, if you tell someone the truth, when they wanted to hear fantasy, then it gets nasty. I got it wrong again.

1 comment:

Ann said...


So those dodgy pictures I received in the internal mail weren't yours then??

Posted by RNB On Saturday, February 24, 2007 at 10:39 AM
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Er um, er um. Did it look like me?

Posted by Ann On Saturday, February 24, 2007 at 12:51 PM
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