Overheard

I found these on the Graham Norton Show webiste: www.bbc.co.uk/grahamnortonshow

They are comments or conversations that have been overheard.

Heard from a customer: "I want a refund or a replacement, 'cos this banana isn't as pleasing as my friend said it'd be"

Bloke on the phone, walking down High Street Kensington: "Well, I'd love to come, but unfortunately I'm in Rome at the moment."

In Oxford Street a respectable-looking, middle-aged man takes solace from the crowds against a shopfront in order to take a call on his mobile phone: "Yes, yes. I've bought you a really good present. Yeah, you'll love it, it's great, it's definitely worth anal this time.


Overheard on a flight, and my personal favourite:
Teen girl 1: "He broke up with me on Facebook!"
Teen girl 2: "Like, on your wall?"
Teen girl 1: "No, he just changed his status back to 'Single'!"

One teenage girl to her friends "and I said to her, you can't take any pills to change that f***ing face."

On a bus in London one day - it was very crowded, standing beside two men:
Gary: "I used to date guys, but I've met this really nice girl."
Guy friend: "Come on, you really don't think you can see this going anywhere!"
Gary: "I don't know, she's different, I've never felt this way before"
Guy friend: "You do know she's a lesbian?"
Gary: "Sure, but I fancy her, so she could fancy me"
Guy friend: "I think I'll get off at the next stop"

Two women chatting on a Lewisham bus: "Ooh have you seen his flat? It's lovely, it's had all that Sinn Fein..."