Ethan has some stock phrases when he's caught doing something he shouldn't.
"It wasn't me." and "I didn't mean to." which, if you think about it, are contradictory.
Well today it was me, but I didn't mean to.
I have no idea how it got there, but this afternoon there was a blue tit in our study/computer room/office/spare room. It was very much alive and trying to fly through the closed window. This room is the farthest room along the upstairs landing and I'd just returned to the house which had been left with windows and doors firmly closed. If the cat had brought it in then it was showing remarkable good health, considering.
I don't think I panicked but I definitely wanted to get the bird out of the house as quickly as possible.
In front of the window is a large desk. It's far too big for the room but, when we looking for desks, Dave said he wanted a large desk so that's what we bought. This means that getting to the window to open it is not easy, especially if you're only five inches over five foot in height.
The other thing that made it tricky is that it's an old sash window and therefore a bit 'sticky'.
And finally it's difficult to concentrate on the task in hand when there's a blue tit flapping around the room.
I had the presence of mind to close the door so that once I opened the window the bird would have just one escape route.
As I fiddled with the bottom sash, forcing it upwards I hadn't been paying attention to the whereabouts of the tit.
Oops. Somehow the blue tit's neck was caught between the two sash windows as I was applying pressure and although I stopped as soon as I realised what was happening it didn't take long for the flapping, or any sign of life to stop.
As the bird was now lifeless it went limp and became more and more wedged between the two windows. Every time I moved the window the situation became worse.
With the aid of a spoon (don't ask why a spoon was in the study) I managed to extract the bird. Baby wipes were used to clean up the blood and left a messy smear where the blood had been.
So I had dead blue tit in hand and an open window at this point. I figured that if the cat had caught the bird, something it hasn't done in the last ten years, then it deserved a meal, so I threw the bird out of the window.
I think this means I'm guilty of bird slaughter and callous disposal of the body.
I didn't mean to.