My night in prison

It was an old Victorian prison. Imagine the set for Bad Girls or Porridge and, as far as interior decor goes, that gives you the right image.

On arrival you're taken into a room and searched and then you're given the 'this is how you will behave' chat. I was given a prisoner number and had to be prepared to call this out whenever required.

It was filthy. Our cell had bird poo everywhere and if someone had told me there were rats I wouldn't have been surprised.

There were no beds. We slept on the floor, the poo covered floor. From memory there were camping style sleeping mats between us and the stone floor and we didn't have proper bedding either.

I don't remember the food, so I assume it was neither too good, nor too terrrible.

The guards were evil and turned our cell over five times in the night. When you're only there for one night, five times is a lot. Their behaviour was revenge for some lippy chat exhibited by one of my cell mates who called herself Sindy.

It was cold and dank and smelly.

I didn't sleep well because I was about 10 weeks pregnant. I didn't let on. Everybody knows you don't tell anyone you're pregnant until after 12 weeks (unless it's not your first baby in which case you let everyone know as soon as you've peed on a stick.)

I was really glad to be released.