Fart strategy

I was chatting to Mel about the men in my department.

I think my mind had wandered during our last team meeting and I found myself looking at the way the men were sitting. I think I read somewhere about body language and it said that confident men sit with their feet on the ground and knees far apart. I think the next level on the confidence scale was sitting with one foot crossed onto the opposite knee. Crossed legs were a defensive posture and I can't remember much more. Anyway I was observing and making assumptions about my male colleagues and I noticed that there was one man sat in the most confident position, and it surprised me that he was the only one.

Mel then started telling me about the strategy Phil, her husband, has on trains when he finds himself sitting next to a man who's taking up too much space by sitting knees wide apart.

Phil farts.

At this we both fell about with the giggles. Mel, because she couldn't believe she was telling me and me because I thought it was a bizarre response.

I couldn't see that Mr Confident would take the hint, and make more space, just because the bloke next to him had farted.

Mel continued and said that once, when the fart hadn't worked, Phil resorted to the nose pick, leaving the results on the end of his finger as a warning to Mr Confident.

Once again - giggles.

Mel was just continuing her previous giggles. I just still couldn't understand the strategy.