Thursday, 14 June 2007

Living separate lives

I think I've got a plan.

I wasn't sure whether it was entirely appropriate to blog about my marriage. I'm sure it's more interesting to you than some of the other dross you've found on these screens because it's personal and it feels like gossip and prying. All of which is more interesting, I'm sure, than Ethan doing a poo in his pants - more of which, maybe another day.

I've spoken to a couple of women recently, no names but you know who you are, who have the same experience that I have; although we live with our partners or husbands, we live separate lives.

During the working week we're separated by distance during the day. In my case I work in the same building as Dave but a floor above. It takes about a minute for me to get to his desk, and vice versa. It might as well be an hour away, although we do meet at the coffee shop about once every two months.

When we get home we have the task of feeding, bathing and settling the children into their bedtime routine. Once that's done, usually Dave or I will leave the house to go to the gym or some other activity (belly dancing on Mondays for example - me, not Dave).

When we're in the house together equally we could be in separate countries. I am usually to be found in front of the telly with laptop. Dave can usually be found either working (proper work) on his laptop on dining room table or upstairs on the main PC doing family tree research or playing World of Warcraft.

If Dave's watching TV then I'm likely to be elsewhere because the TV he watches is weird.

It's as though we don't live together. I think it's a problem and I want to fix it.

So back to my plan. I think we need at least one night a week when we meet in the house and do something together. The something may be watching a TV programme, it may be filing, it could be washing up. I don't think it matters what the something is but I do think we need a routine that forces us together before we drift apart.

I'll let you know how it goes.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yes, its so hard to juggle everything in your life - giving quality time to your kids, to yourself and to your partner. I think keeping one evening free for together time is a fantastic idea.