My imaginery cousin

Dirk is leaving our department. He and I had been discussing when he planned to have his leaving drinks. He'd kindly thought he'd have it on a Wednesday to accommodate my three day working week. And then he thought he might have to move the day. I knew he and Victoria were combining their leaving do's and I'd already had a conversation with Vic and she had been thinking about having her leaving do on a Friday.

All of this background is very dull I know but it's important because it explains what was in my head.

I thought Dirk and Vic were having their combined leaving do this Friday.

Dirk and I had an e-mail exchange last Thursday in which I started by asking Dirk how his previous evening had been. If you remember the team were going racing and I couldn't go.

Ann: How was it?
Dirk: Great. Drank lots of beer, lost lots of money…. We missed you...
Ann: Well I joined you in the drinking – was just sad lonely drinking at home. Good news is I have an official husband issued pass for next Fri.

Remember - I think that next Fri I'm going to Dirk's leaving do.

Dirk: Friday? What are u up to?

So now I'm thinking Dirk's being funny. And I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of me saying "your leaving do, silly." So I decide to have some fun.

Ann: Hen night in Romford. Woo hoo.
Dirk: Sounds like fun!
Ann: There are about 25 of us I think. It's for my cousin who's getting married at the beginning of July. I think she's too young to get married. She's only 25.

I do have a cousin, but she's in her fifties and not getting married.

Dirk: 25 is really early. But if she found the right man that's ok.
Ann: Well, not sure about that. She met him on holiday in Ibiza. He's already cheated on her twice… Don't understand it. Different lives, different way of living. Anyway, I plan to enjoy myself regardless. Expect to be at divorce party next year.
Dirk: Oh that's not good!! She should cheat on him at least once before she gets married just to be even… Give her my phone no if she needs help ;-)
Ann: I don't think, as a respectable married woman (don't laugh) that I could recommend cheating. Having said that she is the sort of girl who sees the hen night as a last chance for a fling…
Dirk: Cheating is never good but if this guy did it already twice to her he will probably do it again…
Ann: Exactly, which is why I won't be stopping her next Fri. and why I expect divorce within the year.
Dirk: Sounds like it's going to be a fun night out. BTW what are you doing in front of your Laptop all afternoon! It's your day off!

So far this is just a bit of fun because I thought Dirk was winding me up. But at this point he should have taken the bait and mentioned his leaving do - he didn't.

Today I found out why. Dirk and Vic's leaving do is next Wednesday, not this Friday.