I think the gas man fancies me

OK, I don't really think the gas man fancies me but he has been a frequent visitor recently.

Appointment 1: British Gas sent a numpty who didn't know what he was doing.

Appointment 2: Nobody turned up.

Appointment 3: Diagnosis appointment during which the numpty engineer and his experienced friend argued with me about the cause of the boiler problems. I do acknowledge that they are the 'experts' but I am the customer and I thought the rule was that the customer was always right. One tea, one coffee.

Appointment 4 (today): The fix it appointment. Or that was the plan. Numpty turns up on his own then gets a call from his friend, who fancies a coffee, and who says he might as well pop in 'cos he's not far away. They take everything off the boiler that they plan to replace. When one bit is removed the holding bracket disintegrates. It's at this point they realise they don't have a replacement bracket. This means they need to order a bracket costing 50p which will be emergency shipped overnight. It also means we don't have hot water, at all. This is why I went to the gym tonight - they have hot showers there. One tea, one coffee.

Appointment 5 (tomorrow): This is the fix it again appointment. My sister-in-law, who was here when they called today promised them biscuits tomorrow. I don't think so.