A slur on my good character

I received an e-mail at work today. It advised me that I hadn't completed a compulsory piece of training.

I was shocked that I could have been so inattentive and I was curious to know which training course I had omitted.

It transpired it was an online course from the team that brought us Integrity Training not so long ago.

It was when I saw the title of the course that my face went bright red and steam started to vent furiously from my ears.

Anti-bribery training!

How insulting! Surely indicating that I must complete this training is a slur on my good character. Maybe I should sue for defamation.

Anyway, after I vented my disquiet to the poor devils who were in the office today (mainly Tracey), I just got on with taking the course because if you don't then the thought police hound you for an eternity, and start sending snotty e-mails to your boss and then your boss's boss. Compliance really is easier.

It was then that I became really offended.

The course was based on some noncey American legislation about not bribing government officials. There was nothing in the course about bribing anyone else.

So my take out was - bribe whoever you like provided they aren't a government official.

I'm shocked that my company endorses bribery of people who aren't government officials.

That's my official line although in reality I recognise it happens all the time. Generally though it's called 'entertainment' and can be billed to an expenses budget.