A talent for it

I was just about to call Ethan to get ready to leave the house to collect Hannah from school, when the phone rang.

It rang off just before I got to it. I looked at the number and it was Brendan.

I thought I could call back and start talking and if the conversation was going to be a long one I could continue it en route to the school.

At this point I hadn't thought about how I would get Ethan downstairs and get him in the buggy whilst on the phone but that's probably because I didn't think it would be a problem.

Well almost as soon as Brendan picked up, Ethan appeared.

He had done a poo in his nappy, which was only apparent because he had half pulled down his trousers and pull up nappy. Bear in mind this is happening while I'm on the phone to my boss.

So phone on shoulder I attempt to fix the poo. At this point I think moving Ethan to where the nappies are makes sense. So I encourage him to waddle, trousers round ankles, towards the nappies while I'm having a grown up adult work conversation with Brendan.

When Ethan has waddled to where I want him to be I realise there aren't any wipes there, but there are 'botty wipes'. For the uninitiated, botty wipes are a Pampers invention. They are moist pieces of substantial toilet paper. It helps children who are becoming independent using the toilet on their own. They are flushable, but they lack the substance of baby wipes.

For the quantity of poo I needed to shift, I needed wipes. As Ethan had pulled his nappy down, its contents had spread over his legs - nice.

In order to get the wipes I'd have to go upstairs, and I couldn't risk Ethan trying to follow me. Imagine it, trousers and nappy round ankles, poo everywhere, climbing stairs, over carpet. No, couldn't risk it.

So I was removing vast pooage, doing the best I could, using moist toilet paper, and conducting a mental risk assessment whilst talking to my boss.

I can even remember what the conversation was about.

I think this might be why people think women are good at multi-tasking.